“This awe made him feel good, still permeable to wonder, but also shamefully provincial. Country mouse.”
- Kaveh Akbar, Martyr!
There are moments in Manhattan when I am overwhelmed with joy at my surroundings. Walking through Tompkins Square Park with the leaves kaleidoscoping across my vision. Running down BPC and catching my breath when the city skyline unfolds itself before me.
But there are also moments where the skyscrapers have blended into a wash of sameness and the tedium of the commute to work drills into the back of your eyeballs. The repetition of life has made me haggard and cold.
I want to hold onto the moments of wonder, the childlike whimsy of discovering a place anew. This city reminds me, time and time again, of how narrow my point of view is, how many new things I have yet to see. In any new beginning (job, city, relationship) you have a high permeability to wonder. Highly open, with space inviting new experiences, sights, and scenes into your life. As we get more comfortable / complacent our holes start to close. I want to remain permeable, a second skin consistently soaking in the pinpricks of light that incite awe within me. When these moments happen, I need to capture it in writing or photography. For example, this nameless feeling, eight months post NYC move. The pregnant June heat